by Jacob Ninan
Do we get upset with God because we assume He is not being fair to us? Even if very few people will put it into these words, what we imply with our reaction is that something is wrong with God! Do we find things wrong with God when He does not seem to match with our expectations? But the fact is that we do not understand God sufficiently or what He is doing.
The prophet Jonah was upset with God when He asked him to go to Nineveh and proclaim the coming judgment for their wickedness. He thought that God might not finally punish Nineveh and then all his prophecy would be seen as false! Jonah may also have thought that these people deserved God's judgment for their wickedness, and he did not want them to get any mercy. What happened was that the king and the people repented when they heard about the coming judgment, and God was able to show them mercy. When God asked Jonah whether he felt justified about his anger, Jonah was angry enough to say that he was! Certainly, there was no fault on God's side. His warning of judgment to Nineveh was with the intention that they would repent, and when they did, He was able to show them mercy. But Jonah did not know the heart of God well enough, and that was why he was upset with God. It is our lack of understanding of God's character and His ways that causes us to misunderstand Him.
It is never God's fault because He is always right in whatever He does. "For I proclaim the name of the LORD; Ascribe greatness to our God! The Rock! His work is perfect, For all His ways are just; A God of faithfulness and without injustice, Righteous and upright is He" (Deut.32:3,4). We must have this truth clearly fixed in our mind as one of the foundation stones of our doctrine about God. Then, when we are faced with situations where we cannot understand what is going on, we can hold firmly to this part of truth, even while we seek to understand God's ways more fully.
If we get upset with God, the fault is always on our side. Perhaps we cannot see the bigger picture concerning the different aspects of His character, or our own expectations of Him are misplaced or unrealistic. Aren't there many things we need to apologise to God for, for having blamed Him for things that were not His fault at all? Like Job at the end of his conversation with God, should we not 'retract our words' and humble ourselves before Him (Job.42:4-6)?
Much of the reason for this wrong understanding of God is that preachers nowadays are trying to portray God is a loving, accepting, forgiving Person who is always going to answer all our prayers. They think this makes Him look good, and they hope that more people will get attracted to Him. But God is also righteous – He cannot do anything wrong, and He cannot bend His rules because He loves us. He is the Lawgiver and a just Judge – he has the responsibility of punishing sin. He is without partiality and He cannot show any favouritism, He has to always keep His word, and cannot say afterwards that He did not really mean what He had said earlier! But we tend to think of Him on human terms and expect Him to behave like people (Psa.50:21).
Let us look at some common examples where we may have wrong assumptions about God.
1. God will always give us what we ask for.
Many preachers proclaim this in order to draw people. Even though there are places in the Bible where it would appear that Jesus was giving such a blanket promise (e.g., Jn.14:14), there are other passages that explain the big picture within which we should see this. Jesus was saying here that we had the right to go to the Father and ask for whatever we wanted. God is so eager to give us what we need that sometimes He gives us things even before we ask (Isa.65:24)! But we must not forget that if earthly parents would not give anything bad to their children, our heavenly Father could be trusted to give us only good things. In other words, if we ask Him for anything that He considers to be bad for us, He would certainly not give it (Matt.7:11). But we ask in ignorance of His knowledge and wisdom, and just as children get upset with their parents when they don't get what they asked for, we also tend to get upset with God when our prayers are not answered!Jesus came into this world first of all to save us from our sins, and not for healing our sicknesses or for making our life here comfortable. He has also clarified that His major desire for us is that we should receive blessings that would last for eternity, such as His character (Matt.6:31-33). Even though Jesus did many miracles for people because He felt compassion for their need, He tried to tell them that they were not what people should be mainly looking for, but "for the food that endures to eternal life" (Jn.6:27). God guarantees an answer only when what we ask for is according to His will for us (1Jn.5:14,15).
When we don't get what we ask God for, let us not get upset with Him, but examine ourselves to see what could have been wrong with our asking. This will help us to get to know God and even ourselves better.
2. God must act in the way we expect.
For example, when we look for a job or marriage, we expect that it will happen immediately. If we don't get the job we applied for, we get upset with God! Sometimes someone gets into a relationship, and when it breaks up, they blame God for letting that happen. Isn't it unrealistic to imagine that the first time we attempt something, it should succeed? That is to assume that God is sovereignly manipulating all our circumstances so that we don't make any mistakes or suffer any disappointment. What about our responsibility to get to know someone well before we enter into a serious relationship, or to choose our job application rightly and to prepare well for the interview?When things go wrong in our life or they don't work out as we expect, is God to be blamed? We must be realistic enough to know that it is we who make many decisions in our life. Since we do not know everything and we have a sinful flesh with us, it is very natural that we make mistakes. But then let us not blame God and get upset with Him!
More than giving us a comfortable and problem free life, what God wants for us is for us to learn from life and become mature. Many times, this is not possible except through trials and challenges. So when we face setbacks or disappointments, let us keep our trust in God believing that He has a good plan for us and that He will turn even our disappointments to bring out something good for us (Rom.8:28). Let us also accept the fact that we will always come short of understanding God's ways, and that the only way to survive is to trust Him.
3. God must only let good things happen to us.
This is again from a one-sided understanding of God's nature as being only loving and kind. We must not forget that we are living in a sin-cursed world, with all of us suffering from the results of sin. We too make mistakes. The Bible tells us not to be surprised and not to think it is strange when bad things happen to us (1Pet.4:12,13). When we do go through suffering, we must make sure that we follow the example which Jesus has given us (1Pet.2:21). He has asked us to take up our cross daily, deny ourselves and follow Him.We deny ourselves in order to be in the will of God for our lives, and then we get to partake of His nature. This is an eternal gain for us because the suffering we go through in this world can lead us to glory in eternity, if we take it in the right way (2Cor.4:17). When we keep that in mind, we will be able to go through our present suffering without complaint or giving up.
4. God must be nice to us even when we are not.
Hyper-grace gives us the impression that since God deals with us through showing us unmerited favour, He will be nice to us no matter how we we behave. But that is to forget that there are consequences to our behaviour. We have to reap what we sow (Gal.6:7,8). If we sow to our flesh, God warns us that we will reap corruption. When we start reaping that corruption, how can we put the blame on God and get upset with Him?God is unchangeable in His character. As much as He is loving, forgiving and compassionate, He is also righteous, holy, just and impartial. "It is a trustworthy statement: For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him; If we endure, we will also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He also will deny us; If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself" (2Tim.2:11-13). He will remain faithful to His nature even if we change. His justice has to ensure that we reap the consequences of our sowing. He cannot be otherwise. Of course, God has made the provision for us in that we can repent, confess our sins, receive forgiveness and return to Him if we fall into sin or backslide. But that does not mean we will not suffer the consequences of our sins.
It is good that we love God for His love and mercies, but we must also learn to 'fear' Him. We cannot play the fool with Him, or neglect His commandments. Let us not get upset with God for whatever happens to us, but let us learn to humble ourselves and learn from Him.