by Jacob Ninan
"That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner self, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled to all the fullness of God" (Eph.3:16-19). The apostle Paul is praying this for the people in the church and telling them that this is his desire for them. Let us note that he is telling those who have been born again and who are already in the church not about forgiveness of sins but about the direction in which their spiritual growth should be going now. These are people who have repented from their sins, placed their faith for salvation in Jesus the Saviour, and as a result, been born again. Christ is now dwelling in their heart, or spirit, and from there He is seeking to bring salvation to every area of their lives, in their thoughts, feelings and choices, and in whatever they do. The final goal is that all of them should grow up and partake of the fullness of God in their character. But the focus in this passage is about growing in love.
We cannot become like God in our essential nature because we are only created beings even though God calls us His children. We are never going to be all-powerful, all-knowing, present everywhere, sovereign, etc. Our words don't have any power to make things happen. Power belongs only to God (Psa.62:11).
In order to partake of Christ's character, first we have to be rooted and grounded in love. If our roots are in God, it means that our ability to love comes from God. Obviously, we cannot love with our own natural strength. When we are grounded in love, it means that love is the foundation of our character and attitude. Whenever we are tempted to move away from love, we must immediately come back to this foundation of love. It is from this foundation that we can grow upwards.
Something we need to notice in the above passage is the direction of our growth should lead us to get to know more and more of the length, height and depth of the love of Christ. This does not mean that we study all the different meanings in Greek and Hebrew and become able to write books about it or deliver speeches. But essentially it means that we learn the different aspects of this love in an experiential way. In other words, we learn to love in all the different dimensions of love and develop an understanding of what that means. For example, don't we need to learn how to love our enemies, people who irritate us or rub us the wrong way? So, we can grow in love in practical situations.
Some people say that they have begun to have feelings for someone and then then conclude that they are in love. But after they get married, some say that they no longer have feelings for their spouse! Then they say that they are incompatible, they made a mistake, etc. Even though love can produce feelings, feelings are not a reliable measure of love, because feelings can be unreliable and may go up and down.
Look at love in a marriage. A marriage properly begins with a commitment from each person towards the other, implying that whether they go through riches or poverty, health or sickness, or good situations or bad, they will keep their commitment to love each other. Then, whenever they face challenges in their relationship, they try everything they can, even seeking external help, to set things right. They seek God to give them more love to overcome the situation because He is the One who supplies them strength when they are rooted in love. That is how to be grounded in love.
Let us look at some of the dimensions of God's love so that we can become clearer about the direction in which we ourselves should be going.
We know this famous verse about God's love for everybody in this world (Jn.3:16). God's intention is very clear here that He does not want anyone to perish, but everyone to come to eternal life. This is a demonstration of the love God has in His heart, which shows in the form of a good intention. No one can blame God saying that He sent them to hell, because He has provided for everyone's salvation but many people do not repent from their sins and accept this salvation. We see the love of God here from the intention He has towards all people – this is what some people refer to as unconditional love – and also from what He did because of that love – giving His Son to die in our place.
Knowing that people are going their own way, God keeps waiting for them to return to Him. "For this is what the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said: 'In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength.' But you were not willing, And you said, 'No, for we will flee on horses!' Therefore you shall flee! 'And we will ride on swift horses!' Therefore those who pursue you shall be swift. One thousand will flee at the threat of one man; You will flee at the threat of five, Until you are left like a signal post on a mountain top, And like a flag on a hill. Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him" (Isa.30:15-18). He waits patiently without giving up. How characteristic this is about people and also God's love!
God's plans for us are always for our welfare (Jer.29:11). Some scholars point out that this verse was meant for the people of Judah who were in exile in Babylon and not for us. But when we see that God was saying this to people who had rebelled against Him and therefore had been allowed to be captured by the enemy, and that God was still promising them welfare if they returned to Him, it shows us much about the loving heart of God.
God tells us that even if our record of sins has been of the dirtiest kind, He can still wash us with the blood of Jesus and make us 'saints' – white like snow (Isa.1:18). When we go to Him, He credits the righteousness of Jesus to our account, so that now we look as if we have never sinned! That is what makes it possible for this holy God to accept us as His children. Another wonderful promise He gives us is that once we have been washed, He will not hold our past sins against us any more (Heb.8:12). God cannot actually forget anything. But we understand that what He means by remembering our sins no more is that He will refuse to bring up our sins and hold them against us. At the same time we must not forget the other aspect of this forgiveness, in that if we chose to go back on our faith, His forgiveness would also not stand (Rom.11:22). This shows us that His love for us is not 'unconditional' in that sense, because how much we can experience it depends on how we respond.
God was willing to pay a huge cost and make a great sacrifice in order to demonstrate His love for us. The apostle Peter says that we were bought not with silver or gold but by paying the precious blood of the Son of God (1Pet.1:18,19). We must not think that just because we can receive this salvation freely, it cost the Father and the Son everything. We can understand how valuable each of us is for God?
Another aspect of God's love is something many people cannot imagine, that He would inflict pain on His children at some times. When we go wrong and the usual ways of warning and correcting us do not work, God is forced to do something that will catch our attention (Heb.12:6). It is because He truly loves us and do not want us go wrong and suffer hurt that He takes to this step that might even look like being hard. Generally speaking, when people deal with others, they think of the immediate happiness of the others, and will try to keep everyone happy. But God looks for our long-term benefit.
Let us try to examine ourselves and see if we are going in the right direction with regards to our love for others. Are we willing to forgive others? If we see clearly that God has forgiven us altogether by grace, we also ought to forgive others even if we think they don't deserve it. Are we quick to give up on others, or are we seeking after patience so that we can continue to hope for others? Are we in the habit of bringing up other people's sins and mistakes and throwing them at them in order to win arguments? Have we forgotten that just as we see an incomplete work in us which is under renovation, we need to make some allowance for the others too?
May our roots go deeper into God and draw out more strength for us to be always grounded in love, and may our love be seen in our action even when we have to make deep sacrifices in order to do that.
Let us also keep in mind that our love cannot be always one-sided. People around us always expect and sometimes demand that we should always be 'nice' to them and help them in whatever way they ask for. The response that other people show to us needs to tune our behaviour towards them. That is how our 'love' can be controlled by wisdom. It may not always make us popular, but disciplining those who have been placed under our responsibility in the work place and our children, for example, may be times when we have to be firm in love.
Let us keep measuring our love against the quality and quantity of God's love towards us, and seek to make constant progress. This will also give us the right foundation for the development of other virtues too.