cnc

Home  Articles  Site map

Serving God or ourselves?

by Jacob Ninan

You can listen to this on YouTube

We know the story of King Saul and David, how Saul's enmity towards David began when people began to praise David more than Saul (1Sam.18:7,8). This led to years of strife between Saul and David, and also division among the people for a long time to come. Do we just keep this as another interesting piece of knowledge, or do we learn to fear lest we become jealous towards someone else? Observation shows that even those who know their Bible well still carry on with jealousy. They try to pull down or sideline others whom they perceive to be threats to their growth in stature and importance, sometimes by spreading scandalous stories, discrediting them in subtle ways, transferring them to obscure positions, etc. They see these others as threats to their security, as Saul thought (1Sam.20:30,31). Saul also saw David as someone with certain greater abilities, people's recognition and even the support of God, and 'feared' him.

I thought of this when news came about the leader of a famous Christian organisation who became jealous of a much younger colleague who was getting more attention from people than he. This leader started his response by spreading scandalous stories about his colleague and later firing him from the organisation. This kind of thing is common in the secular world, but we would like to imagine that committed Christians would not stoop to such behaviour. Why do Christians behave like this, even after preaching about Saul and David?

Some leaders see people as possible trouble-makers or as those who will 'spoil the testimony' of the church or organisation! Then they convince themselves to take action against them, apparently for the honour of God's name. This is where self-deception reigns, with people imagining that they are doing it for the glory of God, whereas actually, they are only preserving their own position or prospects. When we look at it from the outside, we wonder how a contribution from someone could be 'trouble' for the church or the organisation, except for the leaders who feel threatened by the competition!

Sometimes leaders are afraid of people who are likely to expose their mistakes. This was how the Jewish leaders felt about Jesus. The pious reason they stated for public consumption for wanting to kill Jesus was as the way to save the nation from the Romans, while the real reason was that what Jesus taught and practised was exposing them to the public, because of which they feared the loss of their power and position.

It is not just in the matter of jealousy. If we seek things for ourselves, sooner or later we will get into conflict with serving the kingdom of God. Jesus has pointed out that in order to become able to bear much fruit, the first thing we need to do is to 'fall under the ground' and die (Jn.12:24,25). If we go 'under the ground' away from people's view, living only to be pleasing to God, and willing to let go of the desire to be recognised or appreciated, it is then that much fruit is borne for the kingdom. For this, we have to give up any desire we may have for our own empire. Even when our contribution is wrongly credited to someone else, in ignorance or deliberately, we can still rejoice for the sake of God's kingdom. Then we can be quite content if what we do with our right hand, even our left hand does not know, figuratively speaking.

The apostle Paul had several people working with him. But after observing all of them over a period of time, he was sad to see that even as so-called servants of God, most of them were actually seeking something for themselves, with the exception of Timothy (Php.2:19-21). What would most people have thought about these people? As elite members of Paul's team, without realising what God thought of them.

One major reason for this type of double-mindedness may be that people imagine that sins like jealousy, bitterness, malice, self-seeking, etc., will be hidden and nobody will recognise them. But even though they remain hidden when they are at the root level, sooner or later they will be seen in action, and then people with discernment can understand what is going on. They have not learned to judge their lives at the level of thoughts and intentions as they walk before God, but they walk before the opinion of people about them (Heb.4:12,13). Unfortunately, many such people continue with the support of people who are not able to discern, and they imagine that this support is a mark of God's approval!

A second reason is that for many Christians, the definition of sin is confined to external actions, and they think that what goes on inside their mind cannot be caught! Their concept of sin is from standards like the Ten Commandments in the Old Testament, where the laws concerned external actions which could be identified and punished by the judges. Under such a scheme, as long as somebody keeps the law externally, he will be considered blameless. But when we come to the new covenant which Jesus brought, the standard of the law was raised from action to thoughts and motives of the heart (1Cor.4:5). Remember, Jesus said that hatred was as serious as murder, and looking at women with desire as committing adultery. But for many people who have heard the teachings of Jesus, they still assume that as long as they have not actually murdered someone or committed adultery, God is fine with them!

Saul was able to use the nation's army to go and fight with David, and sometimes leaders use the church machinery or the organisation to act against those who threaten them. For example, they may make subtle references to these individuals from the pulpit in such a way that nobody else can get the message. Some even misuse the form of prophecy, using it in a human way, to warn those they have in mind. Another way is to make rules that will target specifically those whom they have in their sight!

Probably Saul did not realise that he was fighting against God Himself, who had already anointed David to be the next king. He thought he was only looking out for his son Jonathan who he wanted to become king after him. When God gives His anointing to someone, that is the mark that He has identified that person for that task, and if we want to serve God, we have to learn to lay aside our own ambitions and submit to Him. When Gamaliel, the teacher under whom the apostle Paul had been trained, faced the issue of the new believers in Jesus opposing the practices of the Jews, he had enough understanding to recognise that if they ended up fighting against God, they would be the losers (Acts.5:38,39).

Let us look at the example of Paul and Apollos. Paul sought to serve God at all times, not seeking anything for himself at the same time. Just take time to read his description of how he tried to serve God (2Cor.6:3-10). He was seeking to do everything for the glory of God and nothing for himself. He tried to do whatever he could do for the kingdom of God, adapting himself to reach more people rather than demanding everyone to be like him (1Cor.9:19-23). Paul recognised his limitations when it came to charismatic personality or oratorical skills (2Cor.10:10). Now Apollos came into the scene who was quite skilled in speech and also in the knowledge of the scriptures (Acts.18:24). But Paul did not see Apollos as a possible threat to his ministry or position, but as another God-sent servant of God in His kingdom even when some ignorant people took sides between them (1Cor.1:12). He realised that each one had a unique role as both were seeking to do the work of God (1Cor.3:6). He took no offence when Apollos did not follow a suggestion from the 'senior' apostle (1Cor.16:12). Lesser people than Paul would have accused Apollos of rebellion! Paul did what he could to facilitate the ministry of Apollos (Tit.3:13).

Paul is a challenge to us in many ways. Let us not get side-tracked into trying to imitate his works – his wide travel, his writings, the churches he established, etc. – but his heart which was focussed on serving God and which was determined not to seek things for himself – recognition, admiration, prominence, power, position, wealth, etc. We must ask ourselves, even as we seek to serve God, if we are secretly seeking things for ourselves.

Table of articles
Home page