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Disillusionment with God
- Jacob Ninan
We are exhilarated by the spontaneous worship that rises in our heart when we get a fresh glimpse of our Lord's loveliness, whether of His power, wisdom, love, mercy, patience or understanding. But we also know times when inexplicable situations hit us on our face and we feel let down by the same Lord. "Where were You, Lord, when I needed You the most? Why are You silent when all I can do is cry out to You? Can't You at least tell me what is happening?" These are some of the thoughts that pound our mind relentlessly. We feel God has disappointed us, even though we dare not say it aloud.
We are not in the same class as Job, and our experiences are also much lighter than his. But for us small people, these are heavy enough that we feel like Job! David felt at times that God had forsaken him (Ps.22:1). Jeremiah thought God had deceived him (Je.4:10). Paul was almost in despair sometimes because of his troubles (2Co.1:8). Job's troubles were much worse, but like these people, he too didn't give up (Job.13:15). On God's side He never scolded any of these people for feeling like this. In fact He knew what they were going through and empathised with them. So we too mustn't feel scared to face up to what we are really feeling and share it with the Lord. We don't have to 'act' positive and utter pious words in prayer. God loves it when we are honest with Him.
If Jesus prayed for Peter that his faith shouldn't fail when Satan sifted him like wheat (Lk.22:31,32), we can be sure that He will do it for us too. He has no favourites (Ac.10:34,35). What will delight His heart is when we look beyond our troubles at Him, and acknowledge that He is trustworthy.
There is some background work we can do so that we can continue to trust in the Lord when troubles come upon us (assuming that we have already come to know the Lord personally and placed our life in His hands). We must settle certain truths in our mind. 1. In this life we are going to see a lot of trouble (Jn.16:33;2Ti.3:1). By having Jesus as our Saviour and Lord we are not going to be immune. 2. We cannot ever understand God and His ways fully. He is too big for us. 3. God is not going to always answer our 'why' questions. Remember God didn't answer all those questions Job asked! 4. God will never leave or forsake us (He.13:5). 5. God will ensure that nothing will go beyond what God and we can handle together (1Co.10:13). 6. God will always be by our side with some way of escape.
The secret of perseverance is to believe that He is with us, He knows what is happening, and He is in control, and to trust Him even when we can't understand what is going on and where it is heading. The 'way of escape' He brings may be sometimes to snatch us out of the trouble, or at other times to sustain us through it all. But in both cases He has something for us to learn and to be trained in (Jas.1:2-4). He makes or allows things to happen so that He can work out something good for us (Ro.8:28,29).