Judging ourselves

In the context of marriage counselling, one can see the problem of our fallen nature. Husbands and wives are both keen on convincing the counsellor that the other person is at fault. There is usually some truth in what each one says. The other person does have a lot of faults. But each one believes that only when the other person's faults have been corrected can they be happy. The problem is they forget that they are also giving their spouse a lot of trouble from their faults. They are not even aware of their own faults. Even when they are aware, they are convinced that it is the other person's faults that are provoking them.

Think of it. They are unable to change their spouses. The more they blame their spouses, the more they believe in responding to those faults. They don't realise that this is provoking their spouses, and that is why their spouses are not changing for the better but only getting worse!

The only way this vicious chain can be broken is if they decide to stop blaming their spouse and start working on their own faults. Successful marriages come from people who have learnt this.

But this is more than about marriages. Why is it that many people are not getting freed from sin and becoming more and more like Jesus day by day? They have not started judging themselves and working out their own salvation. The deceitful spirits in the world have convinced them that their happiness will come from thinking positively and avoiding negative ideas about themselves. So they convince themselves that they are already seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus and that the Holy Spirit is transforming them even as they 'believe'. Year after year goes by, and all that others can actually see are the works of the flesh.

'Judging ourselves' is to examine ourselves voluntarily and to allow the Holy Spirit to show us where we stand, with regards to our words, actions, thoughts, attitudes, motives, etc. Here we are not on the defensive, excusing and justifying ourselves, and blaming others. We are willing to admit where we have gone wrong and we are willing to change and learn from the Spirit. Worldly people tell us that this will be a morose, gloomy way of life, and try to turn people to think only 'positively'. But the mark of a true child of God is, "And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure" (1Jn.3:3). Jesus tells us that the way to follow Him is, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me" (Lk.9:23).

Once we embark on this journey, we progress beyond looking at what we have spoken or done, and start judging ourselves in the realm of our thoughts, attitudes and motives which other people cannot immediately see. That is how our level of purity gets deeper and deeper. That is where we get to partake of the 'mind of Christ' (1Co.2:16). This is how we can become more sensitive towards sin so that we can catch ourselves before we fall.