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We are all wounded people. No one has escaped the damage to our body, mind and spirit which we were born with! We were not only born in due to the Fall, but the fact is that we all have sinned against God in many ways and personally come to deserve the curse of God on sin (Ro.3:23). Besides, growing up with imperfect parents and facing many painful circumstances in life have also broken us in various degrees.
Then we come to Christ! Wish this would make us perfect in a moment! But what really happens is that the seed of God comes into our spirit and begins to grow and influence every part of our life (1Pe.2:2;1Jn.3:9). This is a life-long process called sanctification by which God wants to transform us a little at a time to the character of Jesus (Ro.8:29). But depending on where we started from and how seriously we have been involved with sanctification (Php.2:12,13), we all carry with us huge burdens of our fallen nature and the way we grew up.
This comes to a head when two people get married. All their differences in their personality, skills and background show up their contrasts in many ways! Each one thinks it is all the other person's fault! Some of them come for counselling expecting that their spouse will be made perfect and then it will become easier for them to manage life!
But we all have to reckon with this fact: as long as we live here on earth all of us are still going to be imperfect. Paul was perhaps the most zealous Christian of his time, filled with the Spirit and knowledge, and he too had to admit that he wasn't perfect by any means (Php.3:12). James made this humbling statement, "My brethren... we all stumble in many ways" (Jas.3:1,2).
If we are honest with ourselves we too have to acknowledge this about us – we are far from being perfect. We don't know many things, we have many weaknesses, and even when we intend well we sometimes mess up things! There is so much we need to work on in our life. How we need to walk around in humility and dependence on God's grace – mercy for our sins and help to overcome (He.4:16)!
Where is our humility to be seen more than in dealing with others? Instead of being occupied with looking for their faults and taking every opportunity to let them know, don't we need to 'accept' their faults as a part of their humanness and bear with them? We may have heard much about forgiving others when they sin against us (Ep.4:32;Co.3:13). But don't we also have to focus on 'bearing with one another' (Co.3:13)?
This means to 'accept' the others as they are, not demanding that they should be perfect towards us, knowing that we don't always understand the struggles they have had and are going through now. It is to be patient with them (1Th.5:14;2Ti.2:24;1Pe.2:20). It is to recognise that they and we are fellow pilgrims in this journey of life and to give up the self-centred expectation that everyone's duty is to be good to us. In this way, we will serve the law of Christ.